I’m entering the final phase of my mortal life. This is not a morbid prediction of my imminent decline or death, but a joyful announcement of my decision to surrender control of my time and schedule to God. For all my seventy-four years, until now, I’ve maintained tight control over my life and my time, staying busy with my carefully selected priorities that too often related to work or productivity. Is this how you live your life?
If you read my story in Pilgrimage, you will see how that turned out. I got a lot done,
but didn’t pay enough attention to God, myself, and others—especially my family.
Making this decision to trust God with my time has been a long process that reached a head last year as I struggled with a decision about writing a book. I had spent six-months writing a book proposal for a second book, one I really wanted to write. But I was conflicted and felt an uncomfortable pit in my stomach when I thought about the quantity of time I would need to spend writing the book and then developing a market, building a platform, and finally publishing and and promoting it. I realized I wouldn’t have time for much else. I asked God for direction, went on a retreat, and tired to stay open. I remembered all the time I had missed with family and friends because I was too busy. When it finally became clear that this book project was not God’s plan for me, I felt sad since I really wanted to write it, yet also relieved—free, like a burden had been removed. I knew I also needed to let go of my concern about outcomes as measured by number of subscribers, “friends, “likes,” comments, reviews, invitations, presentations, or podcast interviews.
All I have to do is give God time and space in my life, do my best to follow his will,
and leave the results to him.
If not for my Centering Prayer practice, I would not have reached this season of surrender. Centering Prayer is a form of Christian meditation that allowed me to practice surrendering tiny increments of time to God. I started twelve years ago with five minutes of daily Centering Prayer and gradually increased to twenty minutes, usually twice a day. Committing this time to quietly rest in God’s presence every day helped me get used to trusting God with my time.
I had to learn to surrender twenty minutes before I could consider surrendering my life.
In Psalm 46:11, God advises us to “Be still and know that I am God.” The Centering Prayer method has helped me learn to listen to God and enjoy his presence. I think this practice has actually changed me — I feel more gratitude, peace, and humble awareness of my faults and failings than I used to.
In this new phase, I’m able to spend more time with friends and family since my schedule is not prefilled with commitments and deadlines. I continue to relish my writing and assorted projects —with no set schedule or deadlines. I took on a coordinator task at Church. And I’m learning more about Centering Prayer and the contemplative life in order to share it with others.
I thank God every day for the gift of health and retirement—and my many blessings. I wait with curiosity to see what’s coming next.
Do you think God is inviting you to let go of something or enter a new stage? Listen to his “still small voice.”(1Kings 19:12). You may be surprised at what you hear. But remember—you’ll never know unless you listen.
SUGGESTIONS:
1. If you would like to learn more about Centering Prayer and my experience, here are some links: https://www.contemplativeoutreach.org/centering-prayer-method/, https://www.serenityandhealth.com/blog-post/hurry-sickness?rq=centering%20prayer. For more detail check out this two-part introductory video offered by Contemplative Outreach: https://youtu.be/Dk2xH0XAK3c and https://youtu.be/iFEW2AvKla8
2. Richard Rohr wrote a terrific book called Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life. He describes how we actually gain more by letting go.
Dr. Donna Chacko promotes health of body, mind, and spirit through her website (serenityandhealth.com), her blog, her podcast/vlog series Pop-Up Conversations on Health of Mind, Body, and Spirit, and programs at her church. She is the author of Pilgrimage: A Doctor’s Healing Journey (Luminare Press, 2021), a recent best-seller on Amazon, 2022 Illumination Awards Gold Medal Winner, 2022 Reader Views Literary Award Gold Medal Winner, and 2022 Catholic Media Association First Place Awards.
Do you use these excuses to avoid having to take action?