The Meaning of Soup

The steaming chicken noodle soup was unlike any I’d ever eaten. My friend, Michele, made it for me a week after my first husband died in 1997. The soup was very tasty, but what made it special was the love and  concern that came with it—the healing power of someone simply showing up for me. I started to eat better and never forgot that soup or  Michelle.

In the years that followed, I thought about that simple gift. It was the first time in my adult years that anyone brought a food offering to me or my family during a hard time. I also realized I hadn’t done the same for others.

Back then, I didn’t yet understand the role of community. I was so busy with family and work I had little time to devote to friends.. My husband and I didn’t have special couple friends. We weren’t close to our neighbors. Our extended families lived far away, and or a long time I wasn’t part of a Church or other group.

I was surrounded by people, but isolated.

Now, years later, my life looks very different. I’m actively involved in my church, neighborhood, and other communities and enjoy close friendships and meaningful connections with people. If anyone is going through something hard, someone in the community notices. We show up—with soup, with prayers, with kindness. I’ve experienced how this  kind of giving and receiving is therapeutic for all involved.

Social isolation is common in the US. According to the CDC, 1 in 3 adults in the US report feeling lonely and 1 in 4 report not having social and emotional support. This creates  practical problems. If you are isolated, who will you list as your emergency contact? Who can you can ask to drive you home from an outpatient procedure when you are not allowed to use an Uber? But the impact of social isolation is much more profound than these issues. Lonely people are often  unhappy or dissatisfied with life, and they have a significantly increased risk of depression, anxiety, cardiovascular disease, and cognitive decline.

If you are isolated and lonely, you are suffering. But with some courage and small steps, you can find a better path. Here are some examples.

• Dedicate quiet time to pray. You will never be alone if you draw near to God and wait with an open heart and mind.

• Find a club, organization, place of worship, art class, gym, writing group, music program or anything that interests you. Sign up, stay open, and give it a genuine try.

• Be strategic in finding and making new friends. The American Psychological Association offers practical advice backed by science, including a 20’ video by Dr. Marisa Franco.

• If you feel desperately in need of help, remember the mental health emergency number—call or text 988.

SUGGESTIONS:

1. If you are apprehensive about taking food to someone, prepare this very simple chicken soup recipe for yourself.  If you’re satisfied with how it turns out, then you’ll feel more confident about offering it to someone in the future.

2. Stepping out to make new friends, offering soup to someone, admitting our own need and accepting soup from someone—putting ourselves in these potentially uncomfortable situations can make us feel vulnerable. Listen to Brent Brown’s TED talk on “The Power of Vulnerability.”

God bless each of you,

Donna

EXTRAS

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Dr. Donna Chacko promotes health of body, mind, and spirit through her website (serenityandhealth.com), her blog, her podcast/vlog series, “Engaging with a Messy World” and " “Pop-Up Conversations on Health of Mind, Body, and Spirit,” and programs at her church. She is the author of Pilgrimage: A Doctor’s Healing Journey (Luminare Press, 2021), a recent best-seller on Amazon, 2022 Illumination Awards Gold Medal Winner, 2022 Reader Views Literary Award Gold Medal Winner, and 2022 Catholic Media Association First Place Awards.